Spread your wings.

This is the LAST time I convince myself to follow the Christian religion.

Christians are the QUICKEST to judge when it comes to sexuality. REGARDLESS of the homosexual’s morality, we will BURN IN ETERNAL HELL. It doesn’t matter if we attend church weekly. It doesn’t matter if we preach the gospel, we are living a sin that, frankly, CANNOT BE CHANGED. Heterosexuals act as if it’s soooo easy to “stop this (god I hate this word) temptation”, but you have NO idea unless you’re homosexual/bisexual. This is NATURAL. It happens in hundreds of animal species. And Do you think we’re gay JUST for sexual reasons? NO. Do you love your husband for the sex? Do you love your wife for the sex? I THINK NOT. We cannot help it, and that’s just how it is. Our hearts beat for the same sex, and that’s that.

And wait.. Aren’t Christians supposed to NOT judge? Aren’t there SEVERAL verses in the bible that are against judgement and that the almighty God is supposed to be the only one who can judge? I could hear some of you now : “We’re not judging you, we’re just trying to save you from eternal damnation. We’re trying to pull you closer to Jesus.”

PULL US TO JESUS?

LOL.

PULL US TO JESUS?

PUSH US AWAY FROM JESUS.

 Your God is mourning, Christians. For you have LOST the opportunity to save most of an entire 10% of the population of the world, because WHAT KIND OF METHOD IS “PULLING” HOMOSEXUALS INTO CHRISTIANITY BY WARNING US OF OUR INEVITABLE ETERNAL DAMNATION? What kind of way is that? How would YOU like it if Christians told you that you canNOT be a christian because you are heterosexual? 

Don’t say “that’s stupid” or “That’s not a rational question”.

Just.

Think.

About.

It.

LONG.

AND.

HARD.

Okay, did you think about it? 

I doubt you did, but if you did, by some odd chance, You feel a FRACTION of the betrayal and defeat we feel. We don’t want to believe in a God that hates us for loving what we can only love. What kind of life would we live? A life of fear? No.

So, some of you say “Homosexuality is just a temptation made by the devil”. Okay. Let’s make a scenario. Let’s say that’s true. Satan has us in this TEMPTATION that we feel is natural. Okay. So let’s say we “get blessed by God and we leave this temptation”. Okay. COOL. NO MORE GAY. 

Do you think that changes the fact that WE ARE INCAPABLE OF FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? No. IT DOESN’T. So now if we can’t be a gay christian, we’d have to be a hermit. No relationships. No marriage. No children. Nothing.

So gay people have this choice :

1) Be a gay Christian, and burn in hell.

or

2) Ignore the gay tendencies and our entire hope of having a family or finding true love, and be a “safe” christian.

Do either of those sound like a great choice?

I

Think

NOT.

MESSAGE ME.

YELL AT ME.

TELL ME YOUR OPINION.

I dare you to change my mind. <3 

SUCKS.

I’m letting go
one step at a time.
I’m finding a way
to get you off my mind.

I’m letting go
each and every day.
I’ve tried everything else,
this must be the way.

I’m letting go
though it may be rough.
I’ve got to get though it.
I have to be tough.

I’m letting go
ready or not.
I’m so sick and tired
of giving all that I’ve got.

I’m letting go
I hope I can make it.
I gave you my heart
all you did was break it.

I’m letting go
but not without fear.
through darkness and sorrow
I will persevere.

I’m letting go
this is goodbye.
maybe now, finally
my tears will soon dry.

I’m letting go
here comes the end.
maybe, just maybe
my heart just might mend.


I’m letting go
there’s nothing more to do.
I’m finding my strength
though I still love you.

- Taime Trahan

if only you could see how much I really love you… 

GOD, if only..

</3

It’s 2:19 in the morning, and I’m restless. I can’t sleep because my mind is far too noisy. Things seem to be have left unsaid, and I’m afraid I can’t say it to your face, because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I don’t want to be angry at you. I.. I still care about you more than I care about most people in my life, and to tell you what I’m really feeling face to face or through text would just.. would be too bold of me… So.. I’m going to post it here, and.. whether you read it or not, I’ll never know.. I’ll just have the satisfaction of knowing that it’s available for you to read… It’s here.

I’ve never really “loved” anyone before you. You were the first, and the only in my life so far. You were (well.. are) important to me. I’d take a bullet for you. I’d do anything for you. I am practically head over heels for you. My heart has your name written ALL over it, and I’m hopelessly and… stupidly in love with you. I’ve done many things for you including chalk drawings on cement, pencil drawings, brownies with messages on them, roses, learning 3 songs (two of them your favorite songs) on piano, doing nothing for HOURS just to pick you up and bring you home (Just to get to see you for 10 minutes.), and countless random gifts just to show you I care. Honestly though, I doubt you will ever find someone who will do all that for you and STICK with you after all the shit you put me through. Most people would’ve left after strike one, but no.. I forgave them all..

You say you fell out of love, which is understandable. Things happen. But, to say that you still love me, and want to try something with me, then have SEX with me, only to say “nah. I changed my mind. I don’t want you” days afterward? That is WRONG. Completely wrong. You knew I love you. You knew I was extremely happy to finally have you back, but then… You were done after we had sex. Though your intentions may have not been “just for sex”, I firmly believe it. I mean, come on. Why wouldn’t I? You’ve lied to me in the past. You’ve hidden things from me. Why would this be any different? I should’ve known that this was all a lie when you started talking to me again asking to be “friends” with me. But.. no.. I figured I could trust you. Just ONE more time.. Biggest mistake ever, right?

You are definitely one confused individual. In the beginning, you wanted “more romance. More.. feelings and a better relationship from your last.” I gave you that. I gave you more time. I gave you more devotion, more romance. I showed that I cared a LOT more than your ex did, and yet.. it was too much. You didn’t like it. You didn’t accept any of the attention I was giving you, and it contradicted everything you said you wanted in a relationship. You say you want me for me, but you know damn well you just want my body. You are a pervert. And, it pains me to say this, but I’m sorry I love you. I’m sorry I fell for you this hard. I’m sorry I gave you that much time of my life to make you happy, because obviously, it was never EVER enough. You never appreciated anything I’ve ever done for you, and I was expecting a little bit more than a “aw. Thanks” for the HUGE things I did for you. I mean come on.. Do you realize how much time and devotion I put into making you happy? Do you realize how BAD I felt after getting a very minimal appreciation for such hard work? 

I mean, it’s over. Why the hell does it matter? You’re over me. You’ve moved on to other guys. And, quite frankly, I am very jealous. But, I feel bad for them if they ever get in a relationship with you, because you are not ready. You are way too confused to handle one, and you DONT know what you want. Get it together, dude. Your heart is very small and it pisses me off that you used me for sex. You have NO clue how much pain I’ve gone through for your “confused feelings”. Either you want me. Or you don’t. DON’T FUCKING CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER PLAYING WITH MY HEART.

You never supported my dreams. You didn’t understand my tender heart. It breaks for many things, and instead of seeing the good in it, you looked down upon it as if I was “stupid”. So what if I cry when I see a car wreck? So what if I get upset when you talked about other guys and their “hot” appearances? Those are NOT bad traits to have. My heart is tender, and golden. Not many people care as much as I do, and you are the ONLY person I’ve met that thinks I care “too much”.

I want you, and your crazy, hormonal, confused self. And I always will want you. and love you. You’ve changed me forever, and some of my best moments in life were with you. So, thanks.. But here are your choices. No if’s and’s or but’s about it :

1) Get your shit together, THEN come back to me. I am done with this “I love you.. Wait… Maybe I don’t.” bullshit. And if you come back to me. Come back to me for me.. Not my body.

2)  Leave me the fuck alone. You’ve damaged me enough and I can’t allow myself to get myself hurt anymore.

So, what will it be, Baby?

To me, one seems like the happier choice…

But.. Two seems to be the truer answer. Two.. is your reality. My fear.

<3

I promise…